The More Things Change
by Desktop Warrior
Summary: "This is our family, our life. It's always going to stay like this." In light of Shima's betrayal, Bon reflects on what his 'family' really is.


**A/N:** The first of my Green Room shots to undergo extensive editing, I'm pleased with how it turned out overall. The drabbles greatly exceed the limit imposed by this challenge, but honestly, once this idea got into my head, it refused to let go. This is about as much as I can trim it for now.

Submitted for the **Write a Series of Drabbles** Challenge, part of the RLt's Green Room event. Details for this challenge may be found at The Reviews Lounge, Too forum, under the thread Fall Event: The RLt Green Room.

* * *

**The More Things Change**

Sometimes, I forget that Okumura has lost a family as well. He's lost much more than I have. The old priest was his whole life. The priest and his brother, and there's a ton of baggage as far as Okumura-sensei is concerned. So I really shouldn't be moping to him that Renzou was family to me. It still hurts – it hurts more than anything I've ever been through in my entire life, but I haven't lost everything. I still have both my parents (knock on wood), Renzou's family (even if some of the 'kids' are all grown up and have kids of their own now), 'Neko, the rest of the Myou Dha. We're a tight-knit little bunch.

Well, I thought were. But Renzou betraying us changed that. Actually, no. It was before that, back in Kyoto, when the Shimas and Houjous were at each other's throats. And there's more stuff, that I didn't realize affected me when I was a kid. I don't even know where to begin. As I look through everything I'd buried in my subconscious, I have to wonder how close we really were.

"Hey," says Okumura. I wince. His claps on the shoulder are like an eighteen-wheeler slamming into you. "It'll be alright, you moper!" He's read my mind.

I slug him on the shoulder in return. "Who's a moper?"

He chuckles, his good humour contagious.

"You know," I say. "It's not like I have no one left at all. You guys are my family, too."

He gives me that trademark bad boy grin, strands of tousled midnight-blue hair falling onto his face. "Yeah, that's right."

* * *

"Bon, please! At least take some time to reconsider!"

"I've made up my mind, 'Neko! I've gotta show my determination somehow, or I'll just be hypocrite, hiding behind fancy words to justify my stagnation!"

"You're already using fancy words," says Renzou, running a hand through that naturally wavy hair of his. He's gotten kinda smarmy lately, all part of that new 'refined' attitude of his that he swears will have the ladies at his feet in droves.

We're in Tokyo after taking the bullet train to True Cross City to check out our new school. Konekomaru and I got in on scholarships. Not sure how Renzou made it, but somehow, his family managed to scrape some money for his tuition. This is one of the few opportunities we have to be away from home, from the watchful eyes of the Myou Dha. Other, less savoury types, might take advantage of such a time to perform all kinds of scandalous activities – I'm sure Renzou would've loved to – but I'm not like that.

We approach a tattoo parlour. Nothing shady. All 100% sterile, government approved. Then again, it's not like I'm planning anything too drastic.

I show the guy my ID. Eight piercings in total: one on each earlobe, four helices, and a rook on both sides.

"I will pray for you," says 'Neko solemnly. Right there, in the middle of the store, he takes out his prayer beads and chants. Everyone's staring him, and I feel like sinking into the ground.

The guy running the place chuckles. "Your friend's got nothing to worry about, kid. Just a little prick here and there, and it'll be over." He isn't offended. They strike up a conversation from there while Renzou looks around and flirts with everything with a pair of breasts.

The hair's next. Makoto, as the owner's name is, hands me a magazine, and I flip through a few pics of rock stars and other celebrities with 'outrageous' fashions. Like it's outrageous to do what you want with your own body.

And then, I see _that_ pic. I can't even remember who the dude was. Some Visual Kei punk. Still, I know that hairstyle's exactly what I want: wavy hair, gelled in the back, and a tuft of green in the middle.

"A coxcomb, eh?" Makoto hummed. "That's easy enough."

'Neko winces as tufts of my hair fell on the floor, a little closer to tears with each snap of the scissors. But Shima calms him down, watching with detached fascination as Makoto shapes my hair in the mould of my determination. We decide to leave the thicker part in the middle bleached, without an added colour.

It looks just right. This new person staring back at me in the mirror is who I really am. For good measure, I smirk, showing my teeth.

"Whoa, Bon." Renzou takes a step back. "That's intense."

"You look like a delinquent," 'Neko says, deadpanning. He just isn't getting into it, the little spoilsport. "I don't even want to know what your mother will think."

"Ma's not the one going to high school," I retort. "It's _my_ determination!"

"There he goes again." Renzou sighs with exaggerated flair. "You really think this'll change who you are, Bon?"

"It's a symbol!" I say vehemently. "A symbol! It's not meant to change anything!" Why aren't these people getting it? Oh, well. They won't ruin my good mood.

"Ah." Renzou makes a thoughtful face. "A symbol. Well, then, I've decided."

We both stare at him. "What have you decided?" I ask. But he merely smiles, taking a box of hair dye off a shelf.

"Girls like pink."

* * *

"Bon! Shima-san! Look, look, look, I made a snow cat!"

"You're _always_ making cats, 'Neko! I can make something much better."

"But Shima-san!" Konekomaru whines. "You say that, and we always end up making statues of women with big breasts."

Renzou throws a snowball at 'Neko in response, but it hits me square in the face instead. Momentarily angry, I throw a handful of snow at him without bothering to pack it first. Soon, the three of us are wrestling in the snow, howling and hooting and screeching like there's no tomorrow.

"Oi, oi, oi!" Kinzou stamps over to us and grabs his little brother by the scruff of his parka. "What's this I hear about big breasts, young man?" He tries to be serious, but it doesn't sit well on his fourteen-year-old face, which isn't made to be serious.

"Let go, Kin-nii, you bastard!" Renzou protests.

"Bastard? You little potty-mouthed brat!" Kinzou sneers, then shoves snow down Renzou's back.

"You! You're the brat, brat!" And they fight, like they always do. It's not serious. It never is. The four of us return to our games, brothers, in the lightly falling snow. The twilight of clouds and snow, with a warm glow cast by the lamps of our traditional Japanese home, will last forever in my young mind.

"Honestly, you guys are such kids," says a pretentious voice. We all stop mid-quarrel. Six more people have joined us, the faces I've known for a lifetime. Ao, Nishiki, and Mamushi Houjou, all with the same snakelike features and bleached white hair, drawn into ponytails. Gouzou, middle child of the prolific Shima family and everyone's best friend, who's just started high school this year at True Cross Academy. And the oldest extant son of the Shima family, Juuzou, holding curious baby sister Yumi in one arm and a bag of heavenly aroma in the other.

"Abababa!" Yumi echoes in the same tone as Nishiki.

"Now, now, Yumi, you're one to talk," Juuzou teases, tickling the baby and eliciting a bubble of laughter from her. "You're not even two yet, are you? Are you?"

He looks around to the rest of us. "Hey, no fighting," he says to Kinzou, Ao, and Nishiki, who are at each other's throats as always. "Or no one's going to get…" He pauses for effect, holding up the bag. "Pork buns!"

The three of us youngest boys have identical glowing grins on our faces. "Pork buns!" we exclaim in one voice.

Juuzou laughs heartily. "You three are really inseparable. Come on, you little rascals, let's go inside before you get a cold."

We talk and laugh and eat the mouth-watering, steaming hot buns on the way back. Well, the others talk and laugh. Renzou, 'Neko, and I are just stuffing our faces, happily lost in the moment. Ao and Nishiki talk about big girl stuff, something to do with fashion, while Juuzou feeds little Yumi some of his pork bun. The baby loves this new food, her pigtails bobbing as she squeals in delight. Both Gouzou and Mamushi are talking to Juuzou, though Mamushi's face is flushed for some reason. She's probably spent too much time outside in this chilly weather.

"Juuzou?" I ask as we go back inside. "What's the Order like?"

"Eh?" He hands Yumi to Kinzou, who plays with her around the _kotatsu_. "Um, I don't know very much about what they do outside of the Academy yet. I'm only still in high school myself, you know. But I've learned a lot about exorcism from them…" He stops, frowning at me. "Why do you want to know?"

I tell him the reason, something I've held back ever since Myou Dha was incorporated into the Order. "I want to go there," I say with all the gravity of a child who feels far more grown-up than they ought to. "I want to learn Exorcism and make Myou Dha strong again!"

He smiles at me, kneeling down to put a hand on my shoulder. "That's something you have to talk to your dad about, okay? He's going to be very mad if he thinks I've influenced you. Bon, you're going to be a great Head Priest, even if you don't end up going to the Academy."

"But…I want to," I say, disappointment welling up in me. More 'no's, as always. "I'll be able to save Myou Dha and keep all you guys here."

"Bon." He hugs me tightly, then pats me on the head. "Wipe those tears away. We're never going to leave you, okay? All us Shimas and Houjous…we'll drive you crazy for the rest of your life, I promise. These times we spend together…none of that's going to change."

I smile back. Juuzou's words are gentle, and yet, they're a firm constant in my life. In that moment, I believe him utterly. This is our family, our life.

It's always going to stay like this.

* * *

I sigh as I take a seat at the circle of plastic chairs reserved for security staff. It's been a long, gruelling day, but I think to no small relief that this ridiculous Cultural Festival will soon be over. Shima plops down next to me, but his eyes are darting all over the place. Even on the job, he's a damn skirt-chaser.

"Suguro-san, you should at least try to have fun tonight!" Moriyama Shiemi says to me. "You have a half hour break. Come with us to the food stalls. Have you tried Rin's pork miso?"

"Maybe some other time," I reply. "I take my job seriously, unlike you people." I turn to my left. "Oi, 'Neko, where'd your hot date go? Thought you two would stay at the dance all night."

Konekomaru, who'd been lucky enough to get a date for the couples' concert, has joined us with Moriyama. "She's doing some shopping," he said, not particularly bothered by that fact. "We'll meet up again when UVER start playing."

"You should keep a closer eye on her," says Shima, giving him an arch look. "Before you know it, she'll run off with some other guy and leave you hanging."

'Neko just scoffs. "We're not dating," he says. But he can't hide the blush that creeps onto his face.

This topic is getting on my nerves. "I don't see what's wrong with just sitting down," I gripe. "Everyone's making a big deal about Festival this, Festival that. I can't wait until things quiet down and we can return to our regular lives."

"You don't like change, do you, Suguro-san?" Shiemi posits. Around us, a pop tune starts playing, and people 'sing' along, not to put too fine a term on it.

"What?" I say, struggling to make myself heard over the noise. I give her a puzzled frown. Where's that coming from all of a sudden?

"Let's go somewhere quieter," 'Neko suggests. The loud music doesn't bother him, but it sounds like he wants to 'talk,' too. Great. I get up and follow them to a quiet little park, an oasis in the Festival's insanity.

Moriyama immediately picks up where we'd left off. "You left off and changed your hairstyle, but you're still the same Suguro-san you were before, aren't you?"

I grit my teeth. What the hell? She's beginning to annoy me this one. "You didn't even know me until six months ago! Who are you to talk?"

"That's right," says 'Neko, smiling cheekily before I can continue. "Bon's the same serious boy he always was."

"He's not that hard to figure out," Shima chimes in, leaning against a tree.

"O-oi, you bastards…!" Is everyone ganging up on me tonight or what?

Moriyama, though, at least has the decency to bow and look embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she says softly. "You're right, I haven't known you for very long." Then, she looks up again, her expression serious. "But…I don't think it's that you can't have fun."

"Uh…yeah." I'm totally confused now. "I never said that, so what's the problem?"

"You're just not used to being outside your home environment, are you?"

Okay, that's a new one. That can't be right. I think I've adapted pretty well to True Cross Academy, even though people speak funny in this part of the country. "Eh?" is all I can say in response to that.

"I know what that's like," she continues. "Before I met Rin and Yuki-chan, I didn't want to leave my home. But they showed me that I can find my place anywhere, as long as I try hard."

"Look, uh…" I clear my throat. "This is all very nice, but what's it got to do with anything?"

"Bon," says 'Neko. "You remember all the good times we had back at home? I've been thinking-" Great, he'd been _thinking_. This was going to be some sappy talk about our 'feelings.' "-that ever since we left home, you've been uncomfortable."

"Tch." I roll my eyes at that hogwash. "You don't know what you're talking about." This is getting to be too much. "Look, I gotta go. Our class is in charge of security, so we need to be ready for anything. Shima, you too."

But 'Neko won't stop.

"When we went back to Kyoto and showed the other ExWires around, you were happy. Bon, do you really miss home that much?"

I stop cold.

Is that true? Do I miss the simplicity of my life before I became an Exorcist? The chaos, the light, the energy…I've been trying to find some order in it all. Yeah, I even admit that to myself. Isn't that why I'm here, at True Cross Academy? To use the skills I'll learn here to be an effective leader of Myou Dha? To change things back at home, ironically for the purpose of keeping them the same?

"Suguro-san." Moriyama steps in front of me. She's not mad. On the contrary, she's smiling. "I think of everyone in our little group as my new family. Rin taught me that."

Okumura again. He's changed a lot in our lives, hasn't he? My new brother…like hell I'd ever think that! But it brings a chuckle to my lips. "I guess you guys are part of home now, too," I say. "My big, dysfunctional family." I turn around. 'Neko and Shima – no, Renzou – are smiling back.

"If things change," says Renzou, "shouldn't we make the most of the time we have? We're only young once, you know."

Can't argue with that.

"I'll sneak us in for a tune at the concert," he suggests. "We won't be missed for long, yeah?"

I smirk. "That's against the rules, isn't it? So let's do it."


End file.
